When I became The Grief Warrior

On December 25, 2015, the world as I knew it ended.  That was the day when my precious son, Ron, ended his life.  In a stunning sequence of events, as well as deep maternal intuition, I knew Ron was dead before I was told.  My first words, after the police officer confirmed what I already knew, and that he had died by suicide using a gun, became a prayer I screamed out. “Ron, I forgive you I forgive you I forgive you. But there is nothing to forgive, I know that.  I am so very very sorry.  Dear God in heaven have mercy on me. How will I ever survive this?  If you will help me survive this, I will forgive everybody everything forever.  Please forgive every wrong I have ever done.”